How To Propose Marriage

Those four little words may well be the most important question you'll ever ask. "Will you marry me?"  The rest of your life flows from the answer to that question. Determines everything-what you'll eat for dinner; where you'll spend your holidays; what your children will be like.

You don't want to just pull out the ring box while you're watching TV. Make it a moment you'll both remember forever!

SHE will remember it; every tiny detail of it-the weather, what she was wearing, what you were wearing, the time, the place, everything. She'll remember whom she told first and what they said, how her parents reacted, and how your parents reacted-everything! So take the time and make the effort to plan it so the details come out right. Why spend a lot of time and money getting the perfect diamond only to have the Big Moment turn out to be a flop. The diamond is just one part of the Perfect Proposal. It takes thought, planning, loving attention to detail, and occasionally teamwork to create the kind of fireworks that will leave a lasting glow on your lives together.

Planning the Perfect Proposal: 

1. Attire. Will you wear a tux? Maybe a gorilla suit to say that you're not monkeying around? Make a statement with your wardrobe.
2. Budget. Do you rent a plane or a limo? Take her to the most romantic restaurant? Feed her champagne and caviar? Determine what you can afford to spend on a once-in-a-lifetime occasion.
3. Location. Very important! The observation deck of the tallest building in town? A hilltop under the stars? On the deck of a sailboat? On a moonlit beach? Don't forget, it can be a "combo" - first a restaurant, then the beach, for example.
4. Day & Time. Pick a day that's special to you, such as the anniversary of your first date. Or, an evening, when a full moon rises over the lake.
5. Food. Taking her to the first restaurant you went to together can be fun. Cooking her a meal is a sure winner!
6. Flowers. Absolutely! Whether it's great bouquets of flowers or a single red rose, flowers are a must for romantic moments.
7. Candy. Find out what her favorite is, and present it as a treasure, wrapped in gold paper and tied with a bow, even if it's a Snickers bar.
8. Accessories. Take along a cell phone so she can call her mother or her sister. She'll be bursting to tell everyone! If you can, set up a video camera to record the moment.

Five Proposal Styles
Over the years, I've come across five basic styles of proposals. Which one of these styles best describes your situation?

1. The Total Surprise. She doesn't know it's coming - not a clue, not a hint. You've never even discussed it. This is gutsy! It reminds me of the school dances of my youth, where all the girls were on one side of the gym and all the boys stood on the other. You'd finally get up the nerve to make that long walk across the floor to ask a girl to dance. If she said no (and they often did), the walk back across the floor felt like an eternity.

   I figure fewer than ten percent of all proposals are in this category. It's like doing a high-wire act without a net. Most guys drop hints first, or get hints from her that indicates which way the wind is blowing. But there are the big risk-takers, the guys who live on the edge, who just go out and buy the ring and make the dinner reservations and GO FOR IT! Hurrah for them, but I have to tell you I don't recommend popping the question "cold."

2. She Knows. You've talked about getting married, you know you both want to get married and spend your lives together, you've talked about having kids, you've pledged your undying love. The only thing she doesn't know is when it's coming.

   Men, the time between when she knows you'll give her a ring and the moment when you actually give it to her can be one of the greatest times of your life! Have some fun! Keep her guessing, plan the moment well, and when she least expects it, spring your wonderful surprise.

3. Let's Elope! "Will you marry me? Right now? Tonight?"

   Wow! This one makes no sense to me unless:

   • The Early Pregnancy Test came up positive.
   • America's Most Wanted is profiling you tonightt
   • It's her fifth marriage, your seventh.
   • You don't want to give her a chance to change her mind.
4. It's Now or Never. Way to go-you've waited so long she's resorting to threats: "We're getting married or I'll find someone who'll appreciate me!" Fish or cut bait, guy. If you love her, get off the fence and show her you can't live without her. If it's come to the threatening stage, you have to be extra, extra romantic to make up for her long wait. Use my proposal planning worksheet and make it a good one!
5. Ringless. You and your True Love are in each other's arms, caught up in a rising tide of passion. The dialogue goes like this:
   "Honey, I love you!"
   "I love you, too, sweetheart."
   (Kiss kiss smooch kiss)
   "I can't live without you!"
   "Oh, baby, you're the only one I'll ever love!"
   (Smooch kiss smooch kiss)
   "I want all our days to be like this."
   "Oh, sweetie, I do too!"
   "Will you marry me?"
   "Yes! Oh, yes, yes, yes!"

   But does Romeo have a ring in his pocket? Nooooooo. So where do we go from here? Don't think this lets you out of getting her a ring! Get that thought out of your head right now!

   A lot of Ringless proposals lead to a couple shopping together for the ring. Or, you could revert to the "She Knows" proposal and keep her guessing. Either way, the ringless proposal shouldn't be ringless for long.

Engagement Facts

• Approximately 2,400,000 couples wed in the United States each year;
• One-third of all couples become engaged during the last quarter of the year, October through December;
• The average age of a man getting engaged is 26.5 years; the woman's average engagement age is 24.4; and
• The average price of a diamond engagement ring is $1,597. If the engagement ring is purchased as part of a bridal set, the average price is $880.